The power of positivity and your everyday life.
The power of positivity can create profound changes. Have you ever had those days that just started off, shitty… The ones where you really just want to roll back over and dream of something better. The kind of day you already know is going to go poorly?
Those days can sure suck. I know from experience. A lot of experience. I also know that a couple of simple changes in mindset can make a big difference. Now I say simple…Not easy, there is a huge difference between the two.
It goes right along with the saying “energy flows where attention goes”.
If we are constantly focusing on the negative in our lives, we will see more of it and give it more power over our lives. Vice versa with the power of positivity, if we focus on the positive we will see and experience a more positive reality.
let me break this down as best I can, I’ll use some examples from what I have been learning and applying the power of positivity to my own life over the last few weeks. I’ll also give you the down low and dirty details into the bits of my life that got me to this point. So get ready, buckle up buttercup, and come take a peek into my past so you can see where I am coming from.
I’ll throw in some excerpts and links from Dr. Lipton and Dr. Dispenza who happen to be the masters of the power of positivity. This will offer some greater clarity and insight as well as science.
A little background history of me
I am 31, divorced and remarried. My current partner and I have been married for 9 years. I have been in abusive relationships since I started dating at 17. My current partner is by far best I have ever been with but we still have a long way to go before I can say we are ideal. I have two small girls from my current marriage and one son from my previous. I do not have custody or visitation of my son. And up until recently, I had no clue about the power of positivity.
The custody battle of my son was a long bitter battle that lasted over 8 years. It ended with me finally giving up visitation rights. Something I am resigned over but still sad and upset about. It was desperately needed in my life, despite my hard feelings over it. I needed this to happen, I needed it in order to prevent my NPD ex from having any more control over my life. I needed it to allow me to open up for all the wonderful gifts that come from the power of positivity.
See, I have suffered from anxiety, depression, PTSD for the majority of my adult life. The cherry on top, I have autism and ADD and have been battling addiction for a few years. So as you can see, I can be a real mess sometimes. As anyone who has battled addiction or mental illness can tell you, thoughts are some of the most difficult enemies to face. The addiction to negativity is strong, the addiction to perpetual victimhood is a beast. Now let’s see how the power of positivity can help.
Addiction to self-righteous indignation and anger is a mean monster to slay alone.
All these emotions and feelings release tons of chemicals, from cortisol, dopamine, adrenaline, etc. All part of the beneficial fight or flight response. Now, this response is good, it was definitely needed back in the day when we had to run away from things like hungry bears or other predatory animals… It’s the 21st century though and that reflex isn’t needed like it used to be. Not to mention the whole issue with this is that the body likes those endorphins. Like really likes them, I mean likes them like a crack addict likes crack… Regardless of whether or not those chemicals are beneficial to your life over long periods.
The bad side is that those fight or flight chemicals are so easily accessible to us nowadays. Now they become stimulated when we get cut off in traffic or think about our problematic ex-husband. Situations abound that can trigger and release those endorphins. Which with the high-stress prevalence in our society, means it is definitely not beneficial to the body or nervous system. It puts us in a perpetual state of fight or flight.
So, how do you fix it?
Well, when you try to alter the patterns of your chemistry, say by changing a negative thought process to positive then the body goes through withdrawals. Again this is when using the power of positivity can help. Ask any recovering addict how that feels and you’ll get a good picture of the internal hellish struggle it can become. When the body doesn’t get its fix, it gets a little upset and so it will create situations internally to get its fix.
It will start by releasing hormones that cue your mind to get stressed, doesn’t matter about what, it just wants its fix. Then the mind will be on hyper-alert looking for reasons to be stressed and upset. This creates a cycle of addiction that is difficult to break. The only way to break it, is to become aware of your thoughts, and how those thoughts lead your body and emotions to that conclusion of the wanted chemical release. We all know that change is scary, but what’s scarier is being a slave to your bodies addictions. This is an uphill battle, and we are lazy by evolutionary design, meaning we stay within our comfort zone regardless of its benefit to us. The solution is a very simple strategy. Change your thoughts, change your life.
Here is my in-progress example.
The turning point
My life took a real turn after I found out I was pregnant with my last child, roughly two years ago. Before that, my marriage was on the brink of divorce, constantly. We had been having a rough go for several years, battling codependency, our addiction’s, and my mental illness. My pregnancy was the tipping point for us. It was time to make real changes or hit rock bottom and split for everyone’s benefit. I chose to make changes. Honestly, it stayed shaky during my entire pregnancy and it was not until close to the birth of my daughter that things started to really turn around.
I made a point, the dig deep down in your soul kind of point.
The kind that comes from hitting emotional rock bottom, for the last time kind of point. The one that says “come hell or high water I will make this happen” and mine was that I would have my family. I would start believing in myself and my abilities. I would start seeing the real me and my true potential without excuses.
Of course, there was resistance to this change from my old self. Resistance from the addict me, my addictive mental nature was very strong. There was resistance from my partner at times, and even seemingly life, but I dug my heels in and kept with my desire for change.
I did my best to keep a positive attitude during that transition. It was hard, damn hard. I had to face my shadow and learn my self. My real self, not the fake bitch I was pretending to be.
When I finally found me, hidden under years of built up defenses and bullshit excuses, fake masks, and false pretense, I didn’t like the person I found. I didn’t like the girl in the mirror, I didn’t like myself at all and here I was very pregnant and on shaky ground in my marriage and with myself. It was scary. The emotions were high, to say the least, but I made the decision to do something drastic.
I decided to love myself regardless,
To accept myself as the broken and hurt little girl I was, and love myself into womanhood as I made these changes. This started with learning to enjoy every last moment of my pregnancy. I knew it would most likely be my last one. So I started simply with something I already kind of knew and had practice with. Motherhood. This became an image of what I believed an ideal mom was, and with that image firm in my mind’s eye, I started to act accordingly to it.
Despite opposition and high emotions. Raging hormones, legal battles with my ex, and a rocky marriage, I managed to have the best pregnancy I ever have. I actually have become very close to that ideal mother I picture daily. I didn’t let anything or anyone detract from my ideal image.
During that time I learned a lot about myself. I gained a lot of self-awareness, and I have been building up the positive momentum mentally ever since.
This was all before I knew about epigenetics and Dr. Bruce Litpon and Dr. Dispenza. Since finding these two men and listening to their wisdom the transition to have a positive life has become exponentially easier, my threshold for bullshit negativity and poor behavior is non-existent. I have begun to stand up for myself. Something I never used to do. I have developed a no bs attitude and I no longer allow myself any excuses in regards to my reality. On less than stellar days, I still struggle with the old me sometimes, but my life has become so much better already. All this just because of my mindset shift. In fact, it is far better than it honestly ever has been.
Since finding Dr. Lipton and Dr. Dispenza,
I now start my days with positive I AM affirmations and meditation. I work out regularly, I eat healthily, drink more water and I love myself even more. Those affirmations are kept on repeat during the day as background music to keep up the momentum. I go to sleep listening to it. Doing this has had such a huge positive impact on my attitudes. My moods. My emotions. Since starting meditating with affirmations I have taken the changes I had begun making and set them on overdrive.
I have developed more of a schedule, my creativity is at a level it hasn’t been at since I was a teen, and I have a broader perspective on life. I am able to be more present and I do my best to enjoy the now. This also helped me to become a better mom, a better writer and best of all I like me more than I ever have. I have become very protective of my new self, attitudes, and beliefs.
Even when I have really shitty days,
Or I find myself fighting with my spouse. Taking the time to deescalate and listen to those meditations and affirmations, changes my perception and allows me the grace to calm down to see a different perspective. Which is really important, especially if I am in the wrong. I may still be upset at my partner or the situation but the anger has lost the charge. Now it is just me needing to work through the knots to get to the point where I can talk about it and resolve the problem. Also something I normally didn’t do. One of my partners biggest complaints was that I never resolve things and I hide from my emotions and conflict. Not anymore.
So from my experience,
I can tell you, that even though it has been a rough ride to get here. That making the change in my mindset to focus on the positive has had dramatic effects in my everyday life.
Aside from what I have mentioned above, I have more energy. My depression and anxiety are way more manageable. I have greater bursts of creativity. My hormones have regulated themselves out and best of all I have a better outlook on life.
I am not saying this was an easy transition. Not at all, it was a life-altering one. It started with one simple change which leads to one HUGE IMPACT. It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. From being chronically negative for most of my life to allowing myself the ability to think positively was definitely hard. There are still times that I struggle with keeping that positive attitude, I have found that affirmations help with this. It can be difficult to get back to a state of balance, especially after a fight or conflict, but I won’t turn back now.
Here are some interesting reads for you
I have been listening to Dr. Bruce Lipton and Dr. Joe Dispenza on youtube a lot lately. These two do a lot of research and are the leading pioneers into how the brain responds to negative and positive stimulus. How our thoughts can literally create our reality. Since I have already blabbered on about my own experience, this post is now breaking the common sense threshold for word count, I will link a couple of articles and add a couple of my favorite videos that had the most impact for me. I hope you enjoy this and can make use of it, I know I have.
Thank you for stopping in,
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